Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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