the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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