We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize