tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize