If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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