I just pynch a tree in the face
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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