Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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