then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize