I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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