dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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