before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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