why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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