It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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