we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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