he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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