PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize