Your tits are I can't wait for
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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