she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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