Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize