i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize