Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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