"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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