Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize