did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
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Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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