He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize