I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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