And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
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Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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