Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number

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  (586): Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number http://tfl.nu/4mkf
  Replies (5) Good night (1760) Bad night (449)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass

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  (303): i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass http://tfl.nu/z36r
  Replies (76) Good night (621) Bad night (4843) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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  (802): he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him http://tfl.nu/grpf
  Replies (14) Good night (631) Bad night (4983) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.

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  (304): he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding. http://tfl.nu/d3lt
  Replies (26) Good night (5960) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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  (803): Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning http://tfl.nu/hoox
  Replies (25) Good night (4469) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

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  (513): They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is. http://tfl.nu/k34n
  Replies (8) Good night (3721) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig

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  (414): I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig http://tfl.nu/ouz6
  Replies (29) Good night (4556) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy

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  (303): his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy http://tfl.nu/u5b8
  Replies (51) Good night (8150) Bad night (1435) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth

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  (807): I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth http://tfl.nu/b4j6
  Replies (18) Good night (6981) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.

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  (+44): You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack. http://tfl.nu/2spc
  Replies (12) Good night (4045) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She even gives head with a lisp.

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  (407): She even gives head with a lisp. http://tfl.nu/76cl
  Replies (17) Good night (2098) Bad night (4507) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.

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  (860): You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/a5su
  Replies (10) Good night (2760) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Cats found the secret coke stash again

  (519): View more from Ontario

  They owe us $80.

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  (519): Cats found the secret coke stash again (519): They owe us $80. http://tfl.nu/rzq5
  Replies (10) Good night (1904) Bad night (1260)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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  (406): I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price. http://tfl.nu/xxnk
  Replies (8) Good night (3038) Bad night (325)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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  (231): Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/zmtw
  Replies (2) Good night (898) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt

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