my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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