I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize