i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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