My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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