Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize