i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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