is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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