i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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