Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize