Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize