if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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