your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize