ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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