in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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