have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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