he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize