I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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