moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize