I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize