i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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