the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize