he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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